Hey, friend! Today on the podcast, we’re diving into something that will drastically change your life. We’re talking about setting boundaries around your phone and technology. I know it sounds simple, but it can be really challenging to implement.

Okay- all my GenX women out there, remember the glorious time before we had cell phones? Back then, if we were going out to dinner with a friend, going to a movie, or even going on a walk, we were doing just that—only that. We could be fully present in what we were doing because there was no underlying anxiety of someone trying to reach us. We weren’t multitasking. We didn’t have a phone in our pocket pinging us every few seconds. If someone wanted to get a hold of you and you weren’t home, they would simply leave a message. It didn’t cause a crisis or a catastrophe. They just left a message.

The Blessing and Curse of Technology

Over the years, technology has become both a blessing and a curse. Our phones are amazing tools, but we’ve collectively allowed little things to become high-level urgent. We feel a deep need to respond to texts right away, email clients back immediately, or check our phones whenever they ping. Life had a different quality before cell phones. We were able to be in the moment in a way that’s really hard to do now. For all my younger women listening, it breaks my heart that you don’t have that embodied experience of what life was like before all these distractions. It’s been normalized, but it’s not normal.

The Impact on Our Well-Being

Scientifically and sociologically, we’re starting to understand the damage that constant connectivity has done to our nervous systems, mental health, physical health, and overall happiness. Let me tell you a story about something that changed my life a few years ago. As you might know, my husband and I run multiple businesses, and I had been in the practice of having my phone with me 24/7. I went to bed with my phone, and when I woke up, the first thing I did was check my emails and texts before even getting out of bed.

One day, I had just had it. I got so frustrated with the constant pinging and emails. I decided I was going to take a technology sabbatical. Andy and I had a six-week trip to Belize planned, so I decided to leave my phone at home in California. I had no computer, no phone, no iPad—nothing. This took some planning, but I got it all set up so others would handle emails and the business during this time. Friend, that time without my phone was fucking amazing. If I needed to take a picture, I used my camera. If I needed to remember something, I wrote it down. Without access to online shopping, I suddenly needed a lot less.

Implementing Boundaries with Technology

I know a full sabbatical isn’t realistic for most people, but there are ways you can take back your time and energy and protect it when it comes to technology. Here’s how:

Set Downtime Parameters

Set up downtime parameters or app limits on your phone. For instance, I use downtime on my phone, and if anyone tries to text me between 8 PM and 10 AM, they won’t get through. Only Andy, my mom, and my daughter can contact me during that time.

Limit Social Media

It’s common for many women to use social media to numb out at the end of the day. I just coached a woman who spent almost five hours a day scrolling through reels. That time is so valuable! Use it to take care of yourself, connect with friends, work towards a goal, or spend distraction-free time with family.

Start Small

• Set time limits: Have your phone turn off from 10 PM to 7 AM.
• Use app limits: Prevent getting lost in social media by setting limits to one hour.
• Keep your phone out of the bedroom: Leave it in the office, kitchen, or bathroom—anywhere but next to your bed.

Overcoming Initial Anxiety

Initially, your anxiety might increase because you’ll feel like you’re missing out. You might worry about emergencies or feel the urge to check your phone. But trust me, breathe through the urge. Your brain is designed to look for trouble and keep you safe, but I promise you’ll be okay. No one will die, and no puppies will be harmed. If you stick with this, your brain will settle, and you’ll experience a deeper level of presence in your life. Your nervous system will ease, and your anxiety will lessen as you create a protected space for yourself.

I urge you to try this—it’s life-changing once you get it dialed in. If you do, email me at hello@melaniemishler.com. I want to hear how it goes. If you need help implementing this, reach out. Trust me, it can be hard, but I’m here to chat.

Alright, friend. See you next week!