Hi friend! Today, we’re diving into a topic that I believe is an absolute game changer: the power of establishing your core values. Understanding what truly drives you can transform everything from how you make decisions to how you navigate conflicts. It’s about getting that clear compass direction for your life.

The Challenge with Values
Most of us think we know our values, right? You might nod along, recognizing values like honesty and integrity from a list, but identifying your core values—those you live by every day—is a whole other ball game. It’s about digging deep and letting these principles truly guide your life. And guess what? It’s personal, and it varies wildly from one person to the next.

A Personal Story
Let me share a bit from my own life – for the longest time, I thought I knew my values, but I hadn’t truly defined or lived by them. This all came to a head during a chat with my coach about my frustrations—ironically enough, about my husband, Andy. As much as I love him, our stark differences in rule-following were a constant source of conflict. He’s the rule follower; I’m the rule bender. Blame it on my Catholic school days with their stringent, nonsensical rules.

It was through exploring our conflict that I identified one of my core values: freedom. I treasure the freedom to make choices for myself and my body without any imposition from others, including society or my dear hubby. Realizing this turned our conflicts about rules into shared jokes. Another core value that surfaced was valuing experiences that connect me with others. As an introvert, this wasn’t always easy, and before gaining this clarity, I often struggled to connect with friends or to fully engage in experiences like traveling with them. Now, saying “yes” to these connections is second nature.

How to Discover Your Core Values
So, how can you uncover your core values? Here’s a quick guide:

1. List and Select: Start with a broad list of values and circle those that resonate with you. Try to consolidate similar values.
2. Emotional Moments: Reflect on times you’ve had strong emotional reactions or felt compelled to stand up for something—these are clues to your challenged values.
3. Yearly Review: Values evolve, so revisit and reassess your values regularly to see if they still represent who you are.

Living with Clarity
Knowing your values simplifies life remarkably. It helps you say “yes” to what matters and “no” to what doesn’t. Take some time to not only list your values but define what they mean in your life. For instance, I’ve defined “connection” as being authentically present with others, and sharing meaningful moments—this clarity transforms how I interact with the world.

Make It Visible
Once you’ve nailed down your 4-7 core values, write them out clearly. I keep my list posted in visible spots—like my bathroom mirror and office wall. Reading them daily has profoundly shifted my approach to life, and I know it can do the same for you.

Embarking on this journey to define and live by your core values isn’t just beneficial, it’s necessary for a fulfilled life. So, take that step, define your values, and watch how they transform your daily decisions and overall life trajectory.