Hi Friend,
Last week, we delved into how our habits, or lack thereof, can either propel us toward our goals or drag us away from them. If you tuned in, you’ll remember the staggering statistic we discussed: about 80% of people ditch their New Year’s resolutions by mid-January. Crazy, right?

This week, I’ve been thinking a lot about goals again. It’s a hot topic in my conversations at home and with my clients, and it’s been buzzing in my mind.

Andy and I recently watched a fantastic movie called Brittany Runs a Marathon on Amazon Prime. If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend it! It’s a powerful portrayal of what happens when we set and achieve big goals. The main character, Brittany, is living an unhealthy lifestyle—overweight, drinking, smoking, you name it. After a wake-up call from her doctor, who tells her she needs to lose weight (yep, been there, got the same pep talk from my doctor), she decides to start running. She begins by attempting to run just one block, and slowly but surely, she transforms into a runner. Eventually, she sets a goal to run a marathon. By the time she crosses that finish line, she’s a completely different person. Her priorities, habits, and most importantly, her identity have changed. Brittany evolves into someone who trains diligently and takes care of her body and nutritional needs—a stark contrast to who she was at the beginning.

Watching this movie made me realize that when we set big goals for ourselves, we often forget to ask one crucial question: “Who do I need to become to achieve this goal?”

It doesn’t matter what your goal is—you will be a different person when you reach it. For instance, if your goal is to become debt-free, it’s not just about paying off debt. It’s about shifting your identity to someone who doesn’t do debt. You’ll change the way you see money, the way you spend it, and how you think about it. Trust me, Andy and I went through this process years ago, and it was fascinating to see how our thoughts and beliefs about spending money transformed.

Or take my client from last week, who dreamt of writing a book but never actually sat down to write. To achieve her goal, she had to become a writer—someone who writes regularly. This is more than just a new habit; it’s an identity shift.

Now, I know this might sound daunting, but this transition happens in tiny steps over time. Just like Brittany didn’t become a marathon runner overnight, it started with her willingness to try running one block. It’s a gradual process, like a fog lifting.

Another reason we often give up on goals, especially New Year’s resolutions, is that we set them as more of a to-do list than a goal. This happened to me recently. A friend and I decided to do a 10-minute-a-day yoga challenge for April. But a few days in, I had to admit I’d only done yoga three out of seven days. Even though it was the easiest thing ever—just 10 minutes! This is common with most people’s New Year’s resolutions. They set goals that are more like “to-do” lists: “exercise every day,” “drink less,” “lose weight.” There’s no clearly defined goal or vision.

Here’s the thing—this isn’t just true about goal setting. It’s the same with manifestation. I see this a lot in the manifestation community, where people say, “You just have to envision it, just think about it, and poof, it will come.” Friends, that’s not how manifestation works, and thank God it doesn’t! Imagine if all our shitty thoughts manifested instantly. Instead, there’s a process of becoming, of alignment, like tuning a radio to the right frequency. We need to tune into who we need to be to achieve our goals or manifest our desires.

Let me give you another example. People often use manifesting and goal setting interchangeably. They’ll say, “I want to manifest a business that makes over $200k” or “I have a goal to build my business to over $200k.” These are the same but different. If you’re making $30k a year and your goal is to build a business to $200k, the person who has achieved that goal is doing completely different things than the person making $30k. They believe different things and show up differently.

Steven Pressfield talks about this in his book Turning Pro. It’s a great read about who we become when we get serious about going after what we want.

I’ve been there. I’ve been the person struggling to make $20k a year, and I’ve been the person bringing in over six figures.

So when you set these goals, the first thing is to ensure they’re not a “to-do” list. Make sure you have a clear goal. There will be many little to-dos to get there, but the goal itself should be inspiring, not just a task list.

Keep pushing, keep becoming, and let’s reach those goals together!