How to Get Crystal Clear on Your Desires and Manifest with Confidence
Hello, my beautiful friend, and welcome back to the blog!
Today, I want to dive into something essential when it comes to manifestation, reaching your goals, or up-leveling your life—whatever you want to call it. And that is getting crystal clear on not just what you want, but why you want it.
This might sound simple, but it’s a game-changer. It’s at the heart of creating the life you truly desire. So let’s talk about why clarity is so important, why so many people struggle with it, and how you can refine your desires to start manifesting with confidence.
Why It’s Easier to Focus on What You Don’t Want
Here’s something I’ve noticed again and again: most people are incredibly clear about what they don’t want.
I hear it all the time:
- “I don’t want to be in debt anymore.”
- “I don’t want to feel stuck in my relationship.”
- “I don’t want to be unhappy at work.”
Sound familiar?
But when I ask, “What do you want instead?” things often get a little… vague. It’s not that people don’t have dreams or desires—it’s that we’ve been conditioned to tone them down, to make them more “realistic,” or to not want too much.
I’ve been there myself. For years, I focused on everything I didn’t want. And guess what? That’s exactly what I got more of.
Why? Because that’s how manifestation works. What you focus on—whether it’s wanted or unwanted—expands. Your energy flows toward what you give attention to, and the universe reflects it back to you.
So, while it’s helpful to know what you don’t want (because it gives you contrast), you don’t want to stay there. Instead, you can use that contrast as a tool to clarify your desires.
Why Clarity Is the Foundation of Manifestation
When you’re unclear about what you want, it’s like trying to drive to a destination without a map. Your brain and energy don’t know where to focus. But when you get specific—when you distill your desires down to their purest form—they become powerful.
Think of it like making really good vodka (stay with me here). My friend owns a vodka company, and their secret is distillation. They remove the impurities to create something pure, clear, and potent.
That’s exactly what we need to do with our desires.
When you get crystal clear about what you want and why you want it, you activate your mind and energy in a way that makes manifestation easier. Your brain starts to filter out distractions and focus on what’s important to you.
This happens because of something called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) in your brain. Simply put, your RAS acts as a filter. It helps you notice things that are important to you and ignores what isn’t.
For example, have you ever decided to buy a specific car, and suddenly you see that car everywhere? It’s not that there are more of those cars on the road—it’s that your brain is now tuned into them because you’ve told it they’re important.
The same thing happens when you get clear about your desires. Your brain starts showing you opportunities, experiences, and people that align with what you want.
How to Refine Your Desires (The Seven Layers of Why Exercise)
One of the best ways to get clarity is an exercise my coach taught me called the Seven Layers of Why.
Here’s how it works:
- Start by writing down what you want.
- Ask yourself, “Why do I want this?”
- Take the answer to that question and ask, “Why do I want that?”
- Keep going, asking “why” seven to ten times, until you’ve distilled your desire down to its purest form.
Let me walk you through an example:
Goal: “I want to be successful in my business.”
- Why? Because I want to make more money.
- Why? Because I want financial freedom.
- Why? Because I don’t want to worry about money.
- Why? Because I grew up feeling insecure about money, and I want to feel safe.
- Why? Because when I feel safe, I can relax and enjoy life.
- Why? Because I want to experience peace and freedom.
By the time you’ve distilled down, you’ve gone from a vague goal like “success” to the core emotion or experience you’re really after—in this case, peace and freedom.
This clarity is powerful because it helps you understand what you’re truly seeking. And here’s the best part: once you know what you want to feel, you can start creating micro-moments of that feeling in your life right now.
Why You Don’t Have to Wait for Your Desires
Here’s the thing: we often believe we need to wait for external circumstances to change before we can feel the way we want to feel. But that’s not true.
If you want peace, freedom, or joy, you don’t have to wait until you’ve “made it.” You can start finding moments to feel those things today.
And here’s the flip side—sometimes achieving the goal doesn’t automatically bring the feelings you’re after. I know people who are wildly successful but still feel stuck, stressed, or unfulfilled.
That’s why it’s so important to get clear on the experience you’re truly seeking—not just the stuff you think will make you happy.
Manifestation Is About More Than “Stuff”
I know when we talk about manifestation, it’s easy to focus on the “stuff”—the money, the car, the house. But it’s never really about the stuff.
It’s about the feelings and experiences behind it. It’s about the version of yourself you’re stepping into and how you want to show up in the world.
When you focus on how you want to feel, and you start creating those feelings now, you align yourself with the energy of your desires. And that’s when the magic happens.
Friend, if there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s this: clarity is the foundation of manifestation.
Take some time this week to distill your desires. Use the Seven Layers of Why exercise to get clear on what you want and why you want it. Then, start looking for small ways to experience those feelings now.
When you do this, you’ll activate your mind, energy, and the universe to bring your desires to life. Your brain will start noticing opportunities. Synchronicities will start happening. And you’ll be one step closer to manifesting an epic fucking life.
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