“Stop pretending you don’t WANT more, just because deep down you secretly fear that you can’t have more, or worse- believe you don’t deserve more!!!”

Many years ago, my therapist asked me, “Melanie, what do you want?” 

It seemed like a simple enough question, so I thought for a second and answered with things like “work-life balance, to be a better mom, go on vacation, lose 10 pounds, make more money, etc.” 

After listening to my fluffy answers, she leaned forward, locked eye contact, and slowly said: 

 “Ok, now tell me… 
What do you REALLY want?  
What do you SECRETLY DESIRE?”

Her question shocked me.  No one had ever asked me this before and to be honest, I don’t think I’d ever asked myself this question. 

I sat for the longest time pondering in silence.  “What do I really want?”  I had no answer. 

Looking back at my first answers, I realized it was nothing more than a pumped-up to-do list.  
None of the answers set my heart on fire. 

I left that appointment in a complete fog. It seemed like the most straightforward question, so why was it stirring up so much inside me, and why the hell couldn’t I think of an answer?  Maybe I was just content with life; isn’t that a good thing?  

And then that night, I was jolted awake by these words:  

“Stop pretending you don’t WANT more, just because deep down you secretly fear that you can’t have more, or worse- believe you don’t deserve more!!!”

Those words literally shocked my ass right out of bed! 
Finally, I had hit the truth: fear and self-doubt had been running the show in my life and squashing my desire for years.  But the gig was up!

I know I’m not alone in this experience because after working with many women over the years, I’ve seen how fear keeps many of us from taking the leap into our greatness or reaching for more.  It works slyly like a computer virus in the background of our lives. Everything seems to be working fine,  yet fear and self-doubt are wreaking havoc under the surface.  

It’s so easy to answer the question of what we want with “goals.” But desire is not about reaching goals, getting tangible things (a new car, a bigger house), or checking off our to-do list. Desire is about embodiment- and how we want to experience and engage in our life.

So this is my question and invitation to you:
What do you WANT?  
What do you REALLY want?   
What are your Secret Desires that cannot be silenced with another glass of wine, an amazon purchase,  a piece of cake, or mindless scrolling online?

If those voices in your head stopped saying you were too old, too young, too fat, too thin…
THEN what would you desire? 

If you genuinely KNEW you were worthy and born for greatness, how would you show up differently to the only life you’ve got? 

xo,
Melanie

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